Glasgow Bus Driver

Its always a pain in the arse. Muppet gets on, takes an eternity to get the travel card out of wallet or purse, drops it, takes another eternity to pick it up, and then light-years to find a seat, usually as near the back as their swollen ankles will let them. By this time you've lost your gap in the traffic, and have to sit with your indicator flashing like a control panel from the Starship Enterprise for fucking ages till someone with a nano-ounce of sense lets you pull out.
Just one of a universe of annoying things to happen within five minutes of a bus drivers day. Tell us some of your stories or jokes.